master cleanse aka i want to die

i woke up yesterday and realized i had to go to the grocery store. then i realized that i also had some lemons in my fridge that i needed to use. so instead of going to the grocery store, i decided to go on the master cleanse and starve myself. this is just how things work in my brain. i’ve been meaning to do the cleanse for a while, and i figured now would be a good time since i had lemons and no food in the house to tempt me. in case you don’t know, the master cleanse is where you don’t eat and only drink a lemonade mixture of lemon juice, water, grade B maple syrup, and cayenne pepper. oh also a laxative tea of some sort to help eliminate waste since you’re not eating any solids. the recommended time is 10 days, but i know i can’t last that long so i’m pushing for 4 or 5 days.

i’m on day two right now, and i want to eat a few whoppers. i love whoppers. i deleted friends on facebook for a free whopper certificate. mmm whopper. i was IMing my friend and typed “looking food” instead of “looking good.”

why do i do these things to myself! i tried to do the tracy anderson gwyneth paltrow arm workout earlier today and i couldn’t even finish it. i usually can get through it with no problem but today i felt like my arms were going to fall off and had to stop. how is this only day 2?????

anyway, i lost ONE whole pound since starting yesterday…score….my starting weight for some reason was already 5 pounds lower than my usual weight, so i only have 3 more pounds to go before i can be medically classified as underweight for my height. if i reach that point, i will be the same weight as i was 10 or 11 years ago, except i am now also about 4 inches taller than then! yes i am psycho. speaking of psycho, i took an online test for psychological disorders and i have a very high chance of being schizoid, and a high chance of being narcissistic. sounds about right.